One Month Old Already!

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9/25/2013

Dear Brookelynn,

It's been a couple weeks since I have wrote to you, but I have been having too much fun with you. Where has the time gone? Today you are one month old and you have already grown so much, however, you are still a little pip-squeak. At your two week check up you were in the 37% tile, for height you were in the 44% tile and your head measured in at 66%. Yet, those headbands are still too big for you! 

You are a smart little cookie, you have already rolled over several times from your back to your tummy and your tummy to your back. You also lift your head up on your own on a regular basis and you have been doing both of these since you were about two weeks old. The first time you lifted your head while on your tummy was at your doctors appointment. I think you were showing off your new skill. And at three weeks old you learned how to suck your thumb. And you are trying to talk and getting closer to it every day. 

After two weeks of the witching hour (horrific screams and long nights) and our visit to the doctors we switched you to soy formula and you are doing so much better (Mommy had to be on soy too and the doctor says it's genetic...by the way you have the same doctor as Mommy did).  However, now you have a problem pooping and poop solid little turds and now we are switching back to regular formula.  Now we wait and see if it gets better...I hope I don't have to give you 'butt medicine'...everyday you are more and more like me. But, I'll save that story for later. (Crossing my fingers you don't start screaming again and your colic is better!)

At three weeks old we had our first trip away from you to attend a wedding and even though it was just a few hours I missed you soo much.  You had a lot of fun and were spoiled by Glammy and GeeGee (Or Grumps...yet another new name). 

You love your swing that your Great Great Uncle Rick and Aunt Nina got you. It really is a life saver for Mommy and Daddy too. You also love your pink Wubbanub bear and like to snuggle with your Taggie zebra. Your other favorite thing is bath time, you love the water trickled down your face and you love to get your massage afterwards. You also enjoy shopping and girl nights with Mommy and Glammy and you like to be included while we talk.  And you love kisses from Paisley and she is soo proud of her 'baby' she walks so proudly behind the stroller. 

Daddy went back to work and it's been a little hard for Mommy sometimes, you don't like to let me sleep much with you gabbing late at night (I think you'll be promoted to your own room soon!) But, thanks to Glammy and GeeGee Mommy is able to relax. Glammy is a great teacher!-XOX!

Ps.  You have the worlds coolest GeeGee he will get pedicures with you, have tea parties and have a treasure drawer full of presents for you whenever you come over. 

Life With Brookelynn

9/8/2013

Dear Brookelynn,

Today, you are two weeks old. I'm pretty sure that if I wouldn't have been induced you still would be inside me. And though I enjoyed our 39 weeks and two days together, where it was just me and you; I'm so very happy that you are here in our world. Not just because I feel incredibly healthy after feeling sick for nine months but because I absolutely adore you.  And though the scent of heaven is slowly fading and the smell of stinky dippers and formula now feel the air at our home there is more love in our lives than ever before...even if I have to share you now and I am no longer the only person who can feed you and feel every little move you make, I will never be that close to you again but our hearts will always belong to each other. 

At two weeks old you already have a personality that emerges in between your sleep. And that cute, spunky little personality has  made it impossible not to give you nicknames already. Besides, Brooke, Brookie and Brookie-Lynn...and our Sweet Sleeping Beauty, we have Tudie (for Miss Attitude).  You are truly your Mother's daughter, not only are you an exact replica of me as a baby; my mini-me, your personality is very similar. You know what you want and you make it known (I  believe its a great personality trait to have, despite what others may think). Then there is Piglet, you just can not get enough food and you need to eat every couple of hours (another trait you got from me). You make the weirdest noises and grunts as you eat and you even hold your bib up so you don't get milk on your clothes. It really is the cutest thing 

And of course there is the expected nicknames, Princess, Pumpkin, Sweet Pea, and the little bean as GeeGee (or should we call him Gramps, Grand-Dad, Grandfather or Grandpa...It still changes daily) likes to refer to you. 

Then there is peanut, you gained a little weight since coming home, weighing in at 7 pounds but your still too small for all your clothes and headbands. You are still in newborn clothes. Mommy just can't wait to dress you up! And believe it or not it seems you have the fashion gene as well. You get excited to put on shoes and you light up when something regarding fashion is on TV (at least it seems that way). And after we took some newborn pictures of you, we quickly learned your a little diva. Most newborns sleep through their first pictures which is what I was hoping for (I wanted sleeping angel pictures) but no you had to pose and strut your stuff. You even showed off your Princess  wave.  

And as you did in the womb you have a love for music, specifically Blake Shelton. And of course you love your theme song, 'Hey Pretty Girl' sung by Kip Moore.  You also love to listen to the movie Pitch Perfect as you eat. Maybe it's bad that Mommy and Daddy already let you watch the TV (people can judge if they want to) but it works for us. 

Your growing so fast, you lost your umbilical cord stump and you are already attempting to roll over, you've done it twice (but, I'm sure it was a fluke). I know you can't stay this size forever but I wish you could stay in each phase just a little bit longer. 

Did I say I wanted you to stay in each phase just a little bit longer? Maybe I should say, you can get over your colic phase ASAP! 

Ever since you were one week old you've had colic and every night like clock work you scream at the top of your lungs and Mommy and Daddy feel helpless. But we have some new tools to use and the last two nights we actually got to sleep before 3 AM. We have the cold humidifier on, your bassinet is now next to my side of the bed (Daddy had to have you next to him the first week in a half because Mommy's incision made it hard for her to move quickly), we have a ultrasound doppler playing as white noise, we give you gas drops at your last three feedings for the night, and sometimes Mommy has to hold you for two hours before putting you down to sleep (by the way you can not spoil a newborn). We also have a bedtime routine where you get a bath and a massage. And Mommy and Daddy have a feeding schedule and make sure you stay up right for 20 minutes after each meal. I hope I didn't just jinx our luck. 

Life since you arrived has changed significantly but we wouldn't change it for the world! Life with Brookelynn certainly changed us for the better, at least I know I have a lot more patience and the little things don't seem to bug me as much...as long as the house stays picked up. Week 3 adventures here we come! -XOX! 

The Birth Story-Part 2:

Part 2:

It's now Sunday, August 25th at 12:05 AM and I'm needing yet another pump from my epidural. Now I am beginning to get nauseated. At 12:20 they gave me some Zofran and 12:25 I needed yet another pump from my epidural. At 12:55 my epidural is not working. They are beginning to think I have had it for too long and may need a new one inserted. At 1:00 I am checked again and I'm at a 5.  At 1:08 they give me Lidocaine. At 2:14 they provide more medication to my epidural and up the Pictocin to a level 10. By 2:30 my epidural needs to be upped again and more Lidocaine is given to me at 2:45. 

While I am experiencing the worst of my labor (throwing up and all) Rachelle is peacefully sleeping on the couch in the delivery suite. We are all shocked she hasn't been woken up. By this time Daddy's thumb has no feeling left from Mommy squeezing it. 

By now I'm pressing the epidural button every 15 minutes on the dot. At 3:15 they place an internal catheter to monitor the strength of my contractions. They have to do this to determine if my contractions are strong enough to create a change in my cervix. I'm still at a 5 and have been having enough contractions that something should have happened by now. At this time Rachelle wakes up just in time to release Glammy who has to run out of the room before she gets sick. 

At 3:46 they gave me D5LR which is a type of saline with sugar to give me energy and hydrate me more because they are hoping I'm going to be pushing soon. By this time I have thrown up six times. 

The doctor comes in to check me again and realizes you may be stuck in the birth canal. Your head is beginning to cone and when that happens so soon it usually means the babies head is too big, the pelvis is to small or the cervix cannot dialate beyond the point it's at. We now have to be monitored for a few hours to see what is happening and the Pictocin game begins. 

At 4:17 they up my Pictocin to increase contractions, they need to be measured at 200 for the cervix to dialate. They are reaching that level but with no change to the cervix. By this time, I know I'm going through this for nothing and I'm going to have a c-section. I've known all along. At 4:22 I begin pushing the epidural button again. And at 4:38 they give me more epidural medication because they are increasing the Pictoin again. At this time they flush the catheter as well. Let me tell you, back labor is a bitch!

At 4:51 they pump more fluids through me and I am pressing my epidural button religiously every 15 minutes. At 6:27 the doctor comes in and there is no change we decide its time for a C-section.  At 7:00 I was rolled into the operating room and that's when things went from bad to worse. 

They decided to take my epidural out since I had, had it for nearly 24 hours and it was no longer working (they even put spinal block medication through it at one point and it didn't do anything for me). They complete the spinal block which was not as bad as the epidural. And as soon as they layed me flat I mustered to say, 'I can't breath.'  They told me I was breathing but I had a high spinal and it makes you feel like you can't breath.  It was getting worse. I couldn't talk or breath. I was having a full on panic attack in my head and an out of body experience. They give me oxygen but its not helping. My lungs were paralyzed. I just know I'm going to die when my hearing goes out. The anesthesiologist asks me if I want to take a nap, I shake my head yes and that's the last thing I remember before I saw you.

Unfortunately because my c-section turned into an emergency  because of the high spinal neither Daddy or myself got to see you be born at 7:11AM. I remember coming to and beging able to breath more easily but my throat hurt from being intubated. I remember seeing you but not knowing where you came from. By 8:00 we are in the recovery area. Everyone says you are the most perfect baby they had ever seen.  Daddy even over heard them while we were in the operating room. One of the nurses said, 'you have to come see this baby, she is perfect.'  

In recovery they gave you a bath and Glammy, GeeGee, Unkie and Rachelle were able to come visit us.  And by 10:30 we were taken up to our official recovery room. We finally got to hear our lullaby. 

I'm so amazed at how much you look like me and Unkie when we were babies.  And I'm so ready for some real food. So when the nurse tells me I need to fart you can bet that's what I did. By 3:15 I was eating solid food. And at 4:13 Daddy was on diaper duty as you passed your first meconium.  You had three more of those surprises for him. 

The 25th was the happiest and scariest day of my life, I am so thankful everything turned out ok and we are both healthy and strong. 

The next day (8/26) they removed my catheter and when they told me they would have to insert it again if I didn't urinate so much in 6 hours I made sure I did, by 8:30 I had gone more than half of what they expected. I even took my first bowel movement which really impressed the nurses that day since most people don't go for a week after they go home.  But, I had an amazing surgeon, Dr. Moreno-Hunt and I didn't really even notice I had just had surgery other than the bandage around my lower stomach. I was lucky too, to only have internal stitches.  The only problems I have is some hearing loss from my high spinal. Hopefully it gets better over time and as the swelling in my body goes down. 

We got to go home on August 27th, just two days after you were born, Mommy is healing quickly and is so in love with you.  We did it, we made it through together. Uncle Scott was right, everything would be ok and you look just like the baby he showed me in my dream before you arrived in my belly. Welcome to the world Princess Brookelynn.  And proving there is a heaven. You are absolutely perfect all 6.14 pounds and 20.25 inches of you.  -XOX!

Ps.  This first week has been eventful I must say but Mommy and Daddy are getting the hang of it (slowly)..,and since Daddy has to help out so much, maybe you could let him sleep a little more. We love you to the moon and back again pretty girl!

The Birth Story-Part 1:

9/1/2013

Dear Brookelynn, 

Part 1:

You're finally here!  You were born on Sunday, August 25th at 7:11 AM at Kaiser, Roseville.  It's a day I will never forget, it was the happiest and most frightening day of my life.  But, before we discuss your arrival we must back track a couple days to tell the whole birth story. 

On Friday, August 23rd we arrived at the hospital at 5:45 AM for an appointment to be induced for the second time.  Mommy was much more nervous than the first time (and as you will see for good reasons).  When we arrived we were told they had, had a lot of emergencies overnight and needed to postpone my appointment for a couple hours.  The charge nurse suggested we go to breakfast and relax.  Relaxing was the furthest thing from my mind even though I had only gotten a few hours a sleep the night before (my nerves and you crazy movements were keeping me wide awake).  GeeGee, Glammy, Daddy, and Mommy went to Mel's to kill some time. We arrived back at the hospital around 8:45 and still had to wait until 10:30 to get to our birthing suite. We were the only appointment they kept for the day, even scheduled c-sections were rescheduled.  

By 10:50 AM I was getting my IVs. Then the let down came over the coarse of the last two weeks prior to our second attempt there was no change to my cervix.  This meant we had to start all over again.  At 11:30 I was given my first dose of Miso (a pill taken orally to help soften the cervix). So the waiting game began! 

At 1:30 PM I ate lunch a bagel and grapes.  And my nurse brought in a thick egg crate for my bed so I didn't have to be uncomfortable waiting for labor to begin. By, 4:30 it was time for the second round of Miso. Then, I got a craving for McDonalds at 7:45. Finally, at 10:15 it was time for a third round of Miso. 

That night I slept as much as possible.  Daddy, Glammy, and Rachelle (even on her birthday) kept me company in between. GeeGee stayed at the hospital but slept in the waiting room and in his truck. Unkie went home to sleep and take care of Paisley. 

It was Saturday, August 24th and it was time to see if the Miso was working. At 7:30 AM I was checked.  We cheered when they told us I was 40% effaced and 1 centimeter dialated! The nurse thought that was historical that we would be so excited about such a small milestone but it seemed huge to us. 

At 8:00 the doctor decided to give me an epidural for the procedures that were to come.  Only Daddy was allowed to stay with me when i got the epidural. It was not painful at all. It just put a little bit of pressure on my spine. It was a good thing I couldn't feel what was going on. At 9:15 a balloon catheter was inserted into my cervix to help dialate me further. The balloon would fall out when the cervix dialates to 4 or 5 so yet again a waiting game. At that time they also inserted a catheter in my bladder since my legs were numb and I couldn't get out of bed to use the bathroom.  I looked up at Daddy and said, 'Are they even doing anything?' I highly recommend the epidural and a good doctor (Dr. Garvey was the best)! 

The only down fall at this time was that I could only have clear liquids.  I then decided to make a list of everything I wanted to eat that you couldn't during pregnancy. 

The balloon was still firmly in place at 3:30 so they gave me a 4th dose of Miso at that time.  At 4:23 I wanted to smack your Dad as he sat there and sniffed a package of cookies before he ate them (he says he was checking for freshness, but it still pissed me off). We decided labor must be nearing because I was getting snappy. At 6:09 I had to push my epidural button for the first time to give myself a boost because contractions were becoming more noticeable and painful. 

By this time we are growing frustrated and every time they played the lullaby when a baby was born we would get mad, where was our baby?  Rachelle had resorted to calling babies little fucks. She was beyond frustrated and feeling sorry for Mommy.  It was discouraging to know all these women were coming in and popping out their babies and here I was on day two and there was no sign of you coming.  We are all getting delusional. 

Finally, at 7:20 it happened the Fully bulb that was inserted on my cervix came out! At 7:40 PM we began Pictocin at level 2. And by 8:19 I laughed about a joke we were going to play on GeeGee.  We were going to send a picture of my belly button to him in an email titled Brookelynn.  He has a phobia of pregnant belly buttons. As I was laughing I experienced a large gush and when Daddy and Rachelle looked we knew it was my water that had broken, my mucus plug was also there (guess I hadn't lost it as I thought before). But, my nurse at the time said it was discharge (she was wrong).  At 8:25 they increased my Pictocin to a 4.  And at 8:38 I snapped at Rachelle and she began jumping for joy because she knew you must be arriving soon. At 8:52 I pushed my epidural button for the second time. Finally, at 9:14 they increased my Pictocin to a 6. By this time, I can determine I'm going to have a contraction because every time one is about to start I have a silent little fart. We are all laughing at the observation I've made. 

At 9:25 the doctor comes in to check me again and I am dialated to a 4. The doctor also confirmed that we were right my water had broken. By 9:42 I needed a third pump from my epidural button. And at 9:58 they increase my Pictocin to a level 8. My pain is increasing and at 10:07 I'm needing another pump from my epidural button and again at 10:22 and 10:44. The pain was becoming worse by the minute. At 11:00 the nurse calls the anesthesiologist to give me higher meds in my epidural because I shouldn't be experiencing so much pain at this point. I'm beginning to get worried.